John Carter OF MARS!!

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Okay first thing wrong with the film was that the ‘OF MARS!!’ was dropped by a focus group who though it was too nerdy and wanted to appeal to a wider audience. These people are morons. The negatives only continue: the film is long, boring, disjointed and the retrofitted 3D is so offensive it hurts my eyes. Some man can jump high, this is all!

Tom Steggall

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